"Did Cory just 'Twat' that?"

Just in, from two sources (one, a social utility that connects people with friends and others who work, study and live around them - and the other, a place without a doubt the best way to share and discover what is happening right now)

"i'm the new assistant coach for the Jackson High School boys swim team."

Yeah you are!

going viral..

UH OH!

Uh oh.. it's swelling...

Wood

Here is another example of why cory is not at all gay.

He enjoys sitting on giant wood. Only dudes who are NOT gay like that.

Because this just NEEDS to be revisited

WOW

Taking a jab at myself...

This blog has been going on for about five months now and it has me realized a few things:
1. cory's not gay
2. cory is not gay "wink"
3. people have become victims of this blog as a result of being in pictures with cory
4. i've got way too much free time on my hands

so i've decided that i need to take a jab at myself as well in order to even the score - now, look at this fucking love connection:



note the unfinished track frame
note the slight "whatever" hipster look while hiding the obvious joy of holding a set of welded aluminum tubes
note the angle at which the frame is held up to accentuate the brand name
note that these frames are going to be ridden brakeless in one of the steepest cities on the west coast apart from SF, not to mention that these frames were never even meant for riding anywhere outside the velodrome
note that neither of these douchebags have ever ridding velodrome
note the emo mac's iSight webcam pictures, henceforth the mirror image

I think i'm off the hook for another 5 months at least!

Do you like fish sticks? What are you? A Gay fish???

the only good thing that came from that god forsaken album "808s & Heartbreak" by Kanye West was this:

Kanye West - Gay Fish (South Park) - kewego
South Park immortalize Kanye West as a 'gay fish'.

Press Play!

Keywords: kanye west yeezy kanye west gay fish south park gay joke hater heatbreak 808's ye kid cudi rap hip hop hype 2009 trace

Video from memew

Also peep this:


What fucking love connection:

corysnotracist.blogspot.com

So... I've always known those 'roo-hunting, weird sports game inventing (Aussie rules football - who the hell calls a sport that?), ostrich eating people down under were a little savage like and racist... they have converted our most flamboyant not-gay friend into one of them by getting him to ironically mock the African (-Australians?) by not only dressing like them but to paint their skins black. Tisk tisk Cory... Not only is it questionable but it's just plain frightening. No wonder the Europeans were so deathly afraid of people of darker colour...



It makes him a lot more creepier too:



"I'm having so much fun... LADIES"

Speaking of Australia and being creepy and generally not being gay:



I've got one abbreviation for this picture: WTF? For those of you not in the know, it means "What the fuck?" Also did you know IDK stands for "I Don't Know"? It's very confusing... This happens a lot:

ME: So what did you think of MJ's death?
YOU: IDK
ME: What does that mean
YOU: I don't know
ME: WTF?
YOU: LOLZ
ME: G2G
YOU: BAIIIII

Le Sigh.

In the meanwhile, being unemployed and the only thing you've got going for you to keep busy is buying a car, I find myself on the internet a lot. The stuff I surf for some reason seems like so much more meaningful than what I was doing while procrastinating at school:

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=corys+gay

Apparently the urban dictionary won't allow "corys not gay" but will agree that the closest thing to that is "corys gay", which up till now I did not realize is so close in meaning to the word "tampoon".

Also, google ranks this blog 5th when searching "corys not gay" and when searching for "corysnotgay", this blog is one and only.

My iPhone knows corysnotgay.blogspot.com

I've noticed that like many of Cory's associates and acquaintances alike have been catching onto this little blog that proves the heterosexuality of Cory Hamilton Bensen (Hamilton is the name he is going to use in corporate setting, apparently). Just as the fore mentioned got acquainted with the blog, my phone it seems has caught on. Whenever I try to type "Cory's" it will automatically offer to finish up the rest by giving me, "corysnotgay.blogspot.com". Classic.

Actually, this is how I understood why smart phones are call what they are called - it's because they are smart, dammit! Not only are they trainable like dogs, but they learn new things as you use them just like how a child learns to swear after repeatedly being exposed to some expressions or particular words. I could keep talking about how smart my phone is, but iPhones are much less interesting than Cory's straight sexual orientation proven by a bunch of photos and quotes. Let's look at some:


I know most people do the "V" with their or others' fingers to figuratively illustrate the licking of a vagina. Cory is too mainly and conquered so many of the V's that he's decided to conquer the dudes. That's what the licking of a finger represents.


"Suck on this... ladies" said Cory, "only figuratively! Tonight, I just want to express myself through the art of dance!!!"


"What's up girlfriend?" that's what SHE said. Not Cory.


Cory being the hipster he is (refer to previous Cory's a Hipster post), he feels the need to be ironic. He dresses like that and humps dudes. It's irony, people! IRONY!

First Post in a Month!!

I spent a good part of my July traveling across the land of the free, the home of the brave, that I have been completely MIA. I did drop by in Seattle to pay a visit to the celebrity himself. It was quite an unfortunate coincidence that I had grown my mustache at the same time Cory's had grown in. The mustache for me was a sign that even as a university grad I still grow a youthful mustache and most importantly that I can grow something so nasty on my upper lip because I do not have a job. I imagine the purpose of his mustache is quite different than that of mine. Hopefully I can dig up some "fucking love connection photos" from my time in Seattle, but these will have to do for now:



You can see it growing in:



Now, while I looked for the few 'stache photos, I came across this:



That is what I like to call a "WHAT UP MOMENT". This is said with a little hint of pedophilia in the mix. Especially boys. Note to Cory - wear reflecting aviators next time as not to arouse suspicion. Also recommended is a newspaper or something to distract the eye when you dart for that little Johnny playing in the sandbox.

Today something unbelievable happened: logged on to facebook and saw that there was an album called "Cory's not gay dot blogspot dot com". Clearly my efforts are beginning to pay off! When people start calling their facebook albums after this blog I know that I am doing my job of spreading the word of Cory not being gay. Not only was the name flattering, the pictures were equally great in that they could be used in this very blog! Take a look:

I think this is Cory's "Don't look at me and Sean like that; we like licking each other!" look.


Cory: "It was this big!"


It seems like Cory has taken what he has learned in Montreal back to the West Cost... 4 years of pole dancing in strip clubs located in the village has really paid off.


Cory's all-time favourite for stuffing into his mouth: Dicks.

Oops, forgot the possessive apostrophe. No wait, I didn't.

Thanks to Stephanie Halligan. When I'm in Seattle next you get a beer on me.

"look at this fucking love connection"

As per the "look at this fucking hipster" blog.

LOOK AT THIS FUCKING LOVE CONNECTION. We could also use "love affair" to describe these photos. Hope you had a gay ol time in Seattle, Chris!

Cory "Samus" Bensen?

Photo courtesy of Monsieur Bédard... I think Cory is Samus. Yes, he's probably the pink one on the right because of his nature. I realized this playing Super Smash Bros. with him. He seems to be in perfect control of Samus at all times.

There are however conflicting rumours on whether or not Cory may be the Tin Man from Wizard of Oz. Take a look:



On a closing note, congratulations to Cory for landing the leading role in the flick "Gay Werewolf Killers", a sequel to the critically acclaimed "Lesbian Vampire Killers":

Crouching Tiger Hidden Fag

Beer has been the recent theme. Actually, to be more specific, beer pong in particular. He and Nick were playing me and Mike. Failing miserably because of his heterosexuality, he was getting rather stressed out... when he finally sunk one, he screamed at the top of his lungs, "CROUCHING TIGER HIDDEN FA... I was going to say FAG wasn't I...?" You can be a hidden fag, Cory. We all know...



Over here, you can see Cory's drinking attire. A couple of guys on the way to the bar complemented him. I think they were heterosexual... they were wearing make-up. I do believe that the members of the band Fall Out Boy wear make-up. They are clearly hetero.



Some more of Cory's straight dancing after a few mojitos:



Here's Cory getting intimate with Ted. In the most bro-way possible.



Lastly, our dear Cory is leaving Montreal. This means that I will not be able to deliver the message of Cory's being a heterosexual. I would appreciate any material that could be used for the blog. Cory still has not gotten his message out to enough people. Just because he's out of Montreal, it doesn't mean that Cory's no longer not gay - he may still be licking balls. I leave with you this following picture that will prove my point entirely:

"My butt really hurts... don't know what it is though..."

"My butt really hurts... don't know what it is though..."

Really? I know why...



Nice! Let's look at that a bit closely:



Judging from Cory's facial expression it is obvious that he does not remember why his butt would be in such pain. This does not, however, mean that he is gay. This blog is clearly about defining Cory's heterosexuality. Remember, just because your butt hurts in the morning doesn't mean that you are gay. Kids, be safe and have some fun.

New Post!

Sorry for the lack of update... It's been a pretty hectic past 3 weeks or so.

At one point Cory was on a crusade down to the Southern United States of America to prove his heterosexuality and that gave me less material than I wished. But did remember what he told me a couple of nights before his departure (I casually record what Cory says on my phone these days so that I will end up with more materials):

"My parents really wanted me to be a girl, so they named me Cory to go both ways".

Hmmmm. NOT GAY.

Now, here's a picture proving his heterosexuality:



Back-to-back post to follow shortly.

Cory and food.

Food is an essential part in defining who you are. For Cory, it's no different - he eats like a heterosexual man. Meat, a lot of meat in his mouth, salad, creamy soup, sushi, avocado, cherries, pickles, bananas... the list goes on.

Here are some pictures to prove it all:



He's obviously into BIG BANANAS. No surprise there...


We've seen his love for pickles before, haven't we?


He likes his meats I tell you.

Speaking of foods and Cory, I wanted to share a story that happened over the Easter dinner at the Fishers' house:
Allison Fisher: Someone should really toss the fruit salad!
Cory Bensen: Oh, I would love some fruit in my mouth! I'm usually very good at tossing salads!
Me: Yeah, you love tossing salad don't you?
Cory: Look at me go! I'm tossing the salad!

... Well I did take some liberties and the minute details but the message is clear... CORY IS VERY GOOD AT AND HE DOES IN FACT ENJOY TOSSING SALAD! Fruit salad at that...

What did we learn today? Cory is not gay. Over and out.

Cory Just Wants to Dance!

Cory enjoys dancing. He just wants to dance...



He also likes ice cream cones: "it's like an awesomeness you hold in your hand; you can hold it and lick up the cream!!!"
Yeah... I can imagine a lot of other things you can lick up.

OMG! SHOPPING!

Today, we went on an exciting shopping spree around t-dot(said with a super "not-gay" intonation). Cory was needless to say very excited with the prospect of satisfying his appetite for fashion!

On the prowl for the best looking pair of shorts, Cory navigated through various stores... H&M, Zara, Holt Renfrew, Lululemon, Aritzia, French Connection UK, United Colors of Benetton, Club Monaco... he just said we should've just gone to Dicks 'R Us...

Cory's not gay quotes of the day:
"I love built in vacuums! Seriously, have you seen how hard it sucks? It's like a super sucker!"

"Johnny's my friend from highschool and the swim team... I get ridiculous with him."

"Man, all this disco music makes me want to don a hard hat and listen to the Village People everyday!"

The picture below are the members of the Village People. Cory was once part of the group. For real.

Quotes that prove Cory's Heterosexuality

"What do gay horses eat? 'HAY HAY HAY~!'"... or maybe pickles?

"Now that I have satisfied my tummy with Taco Bell, I need to satisfy my appetite for fashion with Winners."

Introducing... Cory Bensen

These are the reasons why he is not gay. Pictures are worth a thousand words: